APRIL FOOLS, YA LITTLE SAUSAGE

likeadungeondragqueen:

(Source: goatmeat)

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Anonymous asked: hello jess. i haven't told you this recently but i quite like you. youre awesome. bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother

thanks alex i really needed this. xo

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thehighrule:

One of my all time faves. 
oneandonlytaryn replied to your photo: yayayayay
eeewww, the grape one tastes like medicine, the raspberry one is so much better

i don’t like grape flavored anything but it wasn’t my choice what we got so i’ll drink whatever. i was really fucked up though, i had like half of it.

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so today i gave birth to this beautiful condom baby named willie

likeadungeondragqueen:

rick perry is wearing the same jacket in his anti-gay video that heath ledger did in brokeback mountain oops

(Source: goatmeat)

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  • jen: hey jess. i love them. angels and airwaves. they're on your shirt.
  • boy i don't know: hey jess. i love them. your boobs.

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Anonymous asked: I'll make you charts and stuff. It'll be easy!

hahahah okay i’m looking forward to it

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Anonymous asked: French cuisine is da' best! My friend says that French sounds like the people are talking with a bar of soap in their mouth. x) I need to start teaching you French soon.

would you really !? then i’ll actually be able to communicate with other people in france and then we can talk in french all the time and aww

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Anonymous asked: I already do my best to make you feel better when you're upset- we don't need to be married for me to do that! We can live in France and leave all the idiotic people that live in America~

i know you do and i really appreciate it. :3 okay that would be nice i want to try those macaron things and also i think french is a pretty language despite all the hacking and coughing and i’ve always wanted someone to speak french to me it’s cute

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